Money is something that people don’t like to talk about. The only thing we like to do with money is pretend that we have lots of it. It’s a shame because it is really a tool that can be our greatest ally.
My wife introduced me to Dave Ramsey two years ago. Since then, I have lived his principles and can’t imagine living any other way. What has been even more valuable has been Dave’s marriage advice.
I think that the thing that my wife and I do best in our relationship is handle our money. We have clear boundaries and neither of us would ever dream of crossing them. She’s not coming home with bags from a shopping spree and I’m not surprising her with my new iPad.
That isn’t to say that those things are bad. In fact, we have used our monthly budget to plan ahead and make those purchases. It does mean that when it comes to money, we know what is right and what is wrong.
The big secret is that money has nothing to do with it. Money is a vehicle. It is a vehicle for communication. When we communicate, we understand each other. We connect. The fact that we run a household together makes it necessary to communicate.
Whenever there is a problem in our marriage, we often wonder aloud why we can’t tackle this problem like we’re able to tackle our money. In fact, I try to find parallels to our handling our money to help us out of the rut.
We dream a lot about our money. We dream about what it will be like when we’re out of debt. We dream about how our life will be different. We dream about how we will be able to better help those in our community.
Yet, there is something much deeper going on. We are communicating what is important to us. We are communicating to each other our deepest desire to provide for each other. We are communicating our deepest desire that the other have all that they need.
If you and your spouse aren’t sharing the budgeting process together, you’re missing an opportunity. You’re missing the opportunity to love each other well.