Catholic Husband

Love, Lead, Serve

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Relational Fresh Air

If on your Wedding Day you expected your marriage to be full of positive emotions and the warm fuzzies, you may by now have found yourself disappointed. Emotions are ephemeral, but love is not. When things get a bit chilly in your marriage, sometimes all you need is a bit of relational fresh air. My favorite part about spring is being able to open the windows. After a season of a closed up house, there's something really refreshing about a gentle breeze whipping through the halls of our home. Everything feels better and I feel more motivated to get things done. At times, you need the breath of fresh air in your marriage.

Attitude is everything. You can choose to let something that your wife does bother you, or you can let it roll off of your back. Are you caring towards your wife? Are you serving? Marriage is all about giving and not at all about taking. Give, give, give until there's nothing left... then give a little more. As you give more of yourself away, whether it be giving of your time, effort, energy, or self, you find yourself becoming more full. This doesn't work if you're only giving in order to get, but if you do everything sacrificially, you'll find your tanks topped off and even overflowing.

Yet, over the course of a 30, 40, 50, or even a 60 year marriage, rough patches are to be expected. Stress creeps in, fear creeps in, maybe even a little resentment creeps into your marriage. All of these scenarios, though quite normal, actually stem from a selfish attitude. When you stop trusting your wife to take care of you, when you forget that you are one, when you start to turn inward, that's when external forces start to negatively affect your marriage. In the times when you notice things getting a bit stale, do two things. First, recognize that you've turned too far inward and begin to focus your attention and service outward, towards your wife. Be aggressive in finding opportunities to serve her. Second, sit down with your wife and clear the air. Agree to a reset, forgive past mistakes, and push forward.

When your marriage is uncomfortable and things are difficult, the best reaction is positive action. Put all of your focus on your wife and things will work themselves out.
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