Catholic Husband

Love / Lead / Serve

A Remarkable Year

As I wrote in January about my grand plans for 2019, I laid out a vision for a totally new me. I recognized the malaise that I had fallen into over the past four years, caught up in the responsibilities of parenting. Though left unsaid, I was adrift in the ocean of technology, struggling to maintain focus and presence. I declared that 2019 would be different, not knowing the truth in that bold pronouncement.Read Article

The Joy of the Season

In the blink of an eye, the end of 2019 is just over a week away and we’re at the threshold of the Christmas season. What better way to crown the year than with the joy of Christmas. The joy is so complete that a single 24-hour time period cannot contain it. We’ve spent four weeks in hopeful anticipation and will celebrate the feast for nineteen days.Read Article

Not from Scratch

I woke up at my normal time on Saturday morning, went for my walk, came home, and got ready for the day. I walked into the kitchen at about the same time that I normally do each morning. The only difference from any other weekday on that cold December morning is that my whole family was still fast asleep in their warm beds. I pulled out a box of muffin mix and spent twenty minutes baking a dozen fresh blueberry muffins.Read Article

Everybody Helps

At the beginning of 2019, I sat down to think about annual themes for my family. I wanted to have a lens through which we’d filter our daily life, especially our activities. Taking care of three kids and managing the household puts a lot on my plate. As my kids have grown, I haven’t done a good job involving them in the chores that maintaining a household requires. It’s time for that to change.Read Article

Humble Service

Life as a stay-at-home dad was nothing like I expected. For the first two years, with only a toddler to watch, I was bored. As my family grew, I quickly became overwhelmed. Juggling care for the kids and managing the house proved to be a bigger challenge than I could’ve ever imagined. I spent five years trying to find my identity, when it was right in front of me the entire time.Read Article

Poverty

I had a dream a few months ago that my family and I were refugees. My dream was vivid. We arrived in a camp with only the clothes on our backs. We were lodged in a plywood dorm, sparsely decorated, and filled with rough characters. Wildfires burned in the vicinity, adding peril to our already difficult journey. We’ve become desensitized over the past decade to the plight of migrants.
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On Retreat

I made my first private retreat in twelve years last weekend. I left all of my electronics at home, and after dinner on Friday night, drove off into the darkness to the retreat center. I had no responsibilities, no commitments on my time, and for the most part, no clock. Even better, I was the only person on retreat on the grounds for the weekend. The peace and rejuvenation that solitude brought me is exactly what I needed.Read Article

Servant Leadership

Many people want the title, pomp, and circumstance that comes with leadership. They crave the seniority, the deference, the perks, the reserved parking spot, and the corner office. Few want the responsibility. Leadership is about serving, not being served. As a true servant leader, Jesus taught us that. He didn’t seek praise or preferential treatment. Instead, He did the things that no one else wanted to do. He spoke to people that others looked down upon and He challenged every social norm. He challenged us in order to lead us to Truth. He was a servant leader all the way to the cross.Read Article

Spiritual Health

Spirituality is an integral part of what it means to be a human person. Ignore your physical health, and your emotional wellbeing suffers. Ignore your intellectual health, and your relationships will suffer. Your spirituality is no different. Each component of your personhood needs individualized attention. They all work in concert with one another to form the human person. It should be emphasized that faith is indeed a gift. Our human hearts, like a radio receiver, are attuned to the voice of God in our lives. Our hearts yearn to follow the law that He inscribed on them. Read Article

Reaching A Goal

I still remember it vividly. I stepped on to the scale one winter morning to see a three digit number that scared me: 207 lbs. I was six months out of college, living on my own, and suddenly in the worst physical condition of my life. How did it come to this? I was still learning how to live, but something needed to change. I bought my first Fitbit, and started on an eight year journey to get my weight back to a healthy range.Read Article

The Importance of Self-Care

When I was first preparing to transition to my new life as a stay-at-home dad, there was a movement happening within the writing circles that I followed. I wanted to see what other writers were doing and hoped to pick up some tips and tricks from them. I wanted learn how to write better. One of the authors that I followed was Jon Acuff. At that time, he was talking in detail about the right way to handle your side project. One of his biggest takeaways was that you should should be selfish at 5am.Read Article

Read A Book

When you think about your overall health, or even your performance as a stay-at-home dad, I want you to think in terms of balance. Like a body builder who ensures that his routine doesn't neglect any major group of muscles, take the time to work on each major aspect of your life. That’s what this chapter is all about. Your intellectual growth is just as important as your spiritual or physical health. Reading before bedtime can also be a great sleep aid. On nights when I read immediately before laying down, I will typically fall asleep in minutes.Read Article

Self-Awareness

The gift of self-awareness is one that few bother to develop. In the midst of our busyness, we become numb. The curiosity of our youth fades, until we go through the motions of life without admiring the beauty and truth around us. Our bodies send us hints and signals throughout the day, telling us exactly what we need. Our lack of curiosity leads us to respond to those subtle cues inappropriately or ignore them altogether. Developing a sense of self-awareness can help us give our bodies just what they need.Read Article

Transformation

There’s something natural about self-criticism. We see ourselves in pictures, and we instantly focus on our faults and imperfections. In many ways, those pictures don’t align with the way that we see ourselves. I had an incredible experience of taking a picture that I felt perfectly captured me. I saw in that image the physical transformation that I’ve undergone this year. It reminds me of the overwhelming power of redemption. No matter how far gone we are, there’s always a way back.Read Article

Little Kids Praying

Praying with little kids is often a difficult experience. While I try to set a good example, my kids often fiddle, wander, or play. As it turns out, they’re not being disrespectful. When little kids fiddle, they’re really engaged in the activity. It’s how they listen, process, and understand things. They may not say the words, but they hear and know them. It can be frustrating when they refuse to pray, but giving them their space has its benefits. One day, the switch will flip, and it’s a beautiful thing. Read Article

Mindfulness

My experience with mindfulness is a bit checkered. I’ve used a few of the popular apps out there to learn the practice, to some degree of success. For one reason or another, though, the habit just didn’t stick. I’d loathe the 10 minutes of silence, totally defeating the purpose. Mindfulness finally clicked for me when I connected it to my faith. No longer was I seeking to focus solely on myself; rather, I was taking time to intimately be with God.Read Article

Seven

Seven years ago, Alison and I started our life together. Captured so perfectly in the photograph in the banner of this website, the years have passed by with a considerable amount of joy. Our home is now filled with three bubbly children. They play, laugh, and interact with one another. We’ve grown, changed, and continued to get to know each another. In many ways, our marriage reflects the work of our engagement.Read Article

Dinner Table

Just before moving two years ago, Alison and I went furniture shopping. We had gotten by for four years with the furniture that we had each brought into our marriage. We were ready to trade up. Something that I really wanted was a real dining room table. As a military family, the dining room table was a staple of my childhood. No matter where we moved, or what house we were in, we always ate at the table.Read Article

Spiritual Bankruptcy

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on the mass shootings gripping our society. Young men, disaffected and isolated, suffering from mental illness, take up arms and attack unsuspecting victims in acts of extreme violence. These events are things that we’re used to seeing in Europe, Asia, or the Middle East. We’re not accustomed to hearing about them happening in our schools, offices, and shopping centers.Read Article

Full Time Fatherhood

Expectations of fathers change over time. There was a period of time where the only requirement of fathers was to pursue their career for the good of the family. This is the nuclear age, Leave it to Beaver, model in which the mother manages the children, the shopping, and the cleaning. The man would get up, get ready for work, and come downstairs to a prepared breakfast. Same thing in reverse for his arrival at the end of the day.Read Article

Soft Power

In the world of international diplomacy, there are two main forms of exerting pressure on another nation. The first is hard power. That’s to say, military force. If you want to bend another nation to your will, you can take direct military action and try to force their hand. The second, and perhaps more effective, is soft power. Soft power is influence. In diplomacy it consists of lobbying, economic aid, and other tools by which you can try to win the hearts and minds of your opponent.Read Article

Like an Abbot

St. Benedict is a well known figure within Catholicism, but his impact had a direct role on the preservation of Western Culture. Benedict grew up in an affluent Italian family and was sent to Rome to continue his studies. While there, he applied himself to his schooling, but was appalled by the moral weakness of his peers. In frustration, he fled.Read Article

Drift

All things being equal, I’d like to keep a regular schedule. I’d like to have my day divided into neat little blocks of time, and simply progress from block to block. At any given time, my routine would be so ingrained that I wouldn’t need to consult my schedule. I’d check the time and know immediately what it is that I’m supposed to be doing.Read Article

The Scandal

Many Catholics in the United States felt in the opening years of the millennium that we had stared down our inner-demons. The uproar over the sexual abuse of children by members of the clergy was justified, even if justice was never truly served. Consider the fate of Cardinal Law. He was ejected from his leadership role in the Archdiocese of Boston and lived out his final days in Rome, where he reportedly had an outsized influence over the governance of the Church. After all, he had nothing to do but go to meetings and lend his suggestions.Read Article

Headspace

Cal Newport, the university professor and researcher who famously has never joined any social media network, published a remarkable book this year that has received much attention. Digital Minimalism is Newport’s response to a culture of increasing isolation and higher levels of depression and anxiety. Read Article

Taking Kids to Mass

It’s been a number of years since I’ve been to Mass on a regular basis without my kids. When Alison and I just had the one, and he was an infant, it was a great experience. We even had to work out a schedule for who got to hold him during Mass. As he got older, and our family grew, things became more complicated.Read Article

On Rest

I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of rest lately. As a parent to three young kids, my days are quite busy. For 12 hours each day, I’m running at full speed in every direction. I’m playing, fielding questions, cleaning, preparing food, going on errands, and in the middle of all of that, trying to parent.Read Article

Goodbye, PBS Kids

Parenting in every era has its unique challenges. It's never been easy and the challenges are always different. One aspect of parenting is allowing your children to be children. The innocence of a child, once lost, can never be restored. It’s no longer enough to keep your kids from physically being surrounded by influences that you believe are bad for them. In a digital age, those people can get to your kids without ever meeting them.Read Article

Tiny Saints

A few months ago, I was given a Tiny Saint for a gift. Tiny Saints is a relatively new business that sells small rubber keychains of different saints. They’re well made and the designs are very cute. I ordered a few more and put them on my keychain, one for each member of my family.Read Article

Lent Lost

We’ve moved beyond the season of Lent and into the joy of Easter. About this time each year, I reflect on how successful Lent was, comparing my plans on Ash Wednesday to how I crossed the finish line on Holy Thursday. I realize now that this exercise is pointless.Read Article

Themes

This is a big year for me. My son is starting school in the fall, my middle child is coming into her own, and my baby is getting ready to stand up on two feet and never stop moving. The lifestyle that we’ve developed, that of loose structure, is about to take on a whole new level of complication.Read Article

Praying as a Family

When we pray in a group, we’re vulnerable. Even if it’s just our family surrounding us, it’s easy to feel uncomfortable. That’s because prayer comes from the most intimate part of our being. Our hopes and fears are laid bare when we bring them to God in prayer.Read Article

The Gift of Faith

A few weeks ago, I attended a men’s prayer breakfast at my parish. The speaker gave a short talk on the importance of praying as a family. One of the most challenging roles as a parent is not preparing your children to go out into the world on their own, but rather giving them the gift of faith.Read Article

Twenty Nineteen

In years past, I would take this opportunity to recap my year prior and lay out my plan for the new year. It’s a great time to take stock of your life and consider where you are and where you’d like to be. This year, things are different.Read Article