Catholic Husband

Love, Lead, Serve

Thoughts on Friendship in the Digitial Age

Friends at a bonfire on a beach

One of my favorite activities is to pick an area of life where I need improvement and to work hard to make a change. I can only focus on one thing at a time, and that focus is what drives results. I’ve made big changes and little changes using this approach. One of my great regrets of the past six years is my lack of new meaningful friendships. I have friends from college that I connect with, but I haven't built many new friendships. It’s an area of my life that I’m working to improve. Before I can make great friends, I need to be a great friend.Read Article

A Balanced Social Life

A full glass of white wine

The interview season is in full swing for Alison. We're about 18 months from graduation and her schedule is full of calls, phone interviews, and soon we'll be travel to conduct site visits. It's very exciting to finally see all of her work paying off, but it's also exciting for us on the social front as well.Read Article

The Entitled, Envious Millennials

Student walks through campus

I read an interesting opinion article in the Wall Street Journal that took on the issue of a generation of disrespectful children. In the article, the physician writes about his experience of children being overtly disrespectful to their parents during his office visits. While the author acknowledges that not all children misbehave, it's much more prevalent than it was 20-30 years ago. Interestingly, he cites research that demonstrates that disrespectful children, "are more likely to grow up to be anxious and depressed, three times more likely to be overweight, more likely to be fragile, less healthy and less creative, compared with respectful children."Read Article

Be Social After Mass

A variety of doughnuts

One of my favorite memories growing up was being social after Mass. This likely had more to do with the copious amounts of doughnuts available in the narthex or Parish hall, but there was something fun and refreshing about not racing home immediately after Mass ended. We got to know the people in the pews, made friends, and I would often get a little excited when I saw people from Church out in the world running errands. That's what good community is.Read Article

Keep in Touch

Two people working at a table

I think that we have a tendency to discount work friendships. Work is not primarily a place to go to make new friends, but in the course of spending 40 hours a week together, you're bound to forge some new relationships. I think that we discount these friendships because they quickly fade when someone leaves the company. We need to change this.Read Article

Everyone Craves Respect

People walk through cherry blossoms

The Golden Rule should be the gold standard in human relationships, but my experience tells me it seldom is. I think we're all a bit confused about just what it means to be respectful of others. The fact remains, we all have within us a desire to be treated with respect, even when we disagree.Read Article

Coping with Loss

Artwork of a child losing a balloon

It's said that we tend to experience God in times of tribulation more than in our daily life. People who have no trials, sorrows, or sufferings struggle to know God because human instinct says that there's no need of God when all is well. The mark of a saint is one who relies on God in all seasons of life, both good and bad. At one time or another, we'll all experience loss and in those times, we should both pray and celebrate lifeRead Article

Resolve Conflicts

Far too many of us carry around burdens that we don't have to endure. Mistakes from the past haunt our daily lives and direct our actions. The guilt remains because, although time has passed since the incident, it remains unresolved. In the spiritual life, we have the Sacrament of Confession. The Sacrament is a time to talk it out, and receive forgiveness for our past mistakes. In our interpersonal lives, we need to make amends. Don't let your mistakes be enduring.Read Article

Open Wide the Doors

Over the Memorial Day Weekend, Alison and I didn't have much going on. She had to work on Saturday and we didn't have any plans to go anywhere or do anything on either Sunday or Monday. I was in the mood to have some people over, so we invited my parents and one of Alison's colleagues over for a cookout. The weather was scorchingly hot, but we ended up with a delicious meal of hamburgers, chips, and key lime bars. Alison and I do occasionally entertain friends, usually about one hangout every other month. Our Memorial Day gathering reminded me that entertaining friends is a lot of fun and that we should be doing it more often.Read Article

Cousin Time

Earlier this Spring, I took Benedict to my aunt's house for a play date. My aunt lives about 90 minutes away from us and three of her four children were home at the time. My cousins range in age from 16 to 23 and I've always been close to them. Benedict had an absolute ball stalking their cat, watching their dogs, exploring a new house, and playing with his cousins. The day was great for me too, and it was a great reminder to make time to play and have fun with your extended family.Read Article

Is Your Wife Your Only Friend?

Admittedly, this is going to be a bit of an awkward post for me. While I wish I was living out the principles that I'm going to cover, I'm really not. You see, as men, we need really great guy friends. Certainly your wife is your best friend and yet, she can't be your only friend. We need people around us to help us be better men, and who better to challenge us than friends who struggle with the exact same things that we struggle with? By cultivating great relationships with a few great guys, you can build a support network and grow as a man.Read Article

Let Go of Past Hurts

I'm a grudge-holder. I don't do it for all things, but when a particular relational infraction occurs, if it's offensive enough, I'll hold on to it for a very long time. It's not the best system in the world and it certainly adds stress to my life because grudges keep coming up in my mind resulting in me reliving the offending action. The problem with holding on to past hurts is not just that we can't do anything about them today, but also that it makes us a prisoner of the past.Read Article

Be Neighborly

I have a terrible track record of being neighborly. In the five years since moving out on my own, I've really only been friendly with one neighbor. It actually makes me a bit sad because having great neighbors is one of the best parts of the communal living experience. People looking after each other, enjoying each other's company, and sharing life together can enhance the lives of everyone involved. Perhaps I'll find that neighborly spirit when Alison and I buy our first home in a few years. Regardless of where we live, we all need to reclaim a strong sense of community in our neighborhoods.Read Article

The Best Thing About Permanence

Marriage is designed to last. While that's a simple statement, the implausibility of the construct makes it an enigma. How can two completely different adults, with completely different customs, traditions, and rearing, come together in their 20s or 30s and build an entirely new family that not only survives a 50 or 60 year marriage, but thrives and endures after the couple's death? There is but one lynchpin in the whole system that keeps this complex arrangement together: permanence.Read Article

Deck Life

Our townhouse has a small and very cheap deck built onto the back. It doesn't sit very high off the ground and the wood is in terrible shape. It was built sixteen years ago and hasn't been treated, cleaned, or stained ever. While it's nothing fancy, it’s a decent place to hang out. This year for my birthday, my parents got me several deck items from IKEA and now it's an amazing place to hang out at night! If you have some outdoor space at your home, dress it up a bit and enjoy these summer nights outdoors with great company.Read Article

Editing Friendships

College is the gilded age of friendships. At no other point in your life are you more fully immersed in your peer group. You live together en masse, you share numerous experiences in the forms of classes, exams, campus jobs, and events. Most importantly, you live in close quarters. Certainly your friend group is of a certain size, but you also have a massive acquaintance circle full of people that you know in connection to your coursework. This acquaintance group isn't one that you necessarily hang out with all the time, but you do greet each other in passing. College is full of social connectedness.Read Article

Surround Your Marriage with Friends

The life of a young single person is filled with friendships of all degrees. Think back to your college days and the boundless number of friends that you had. Each relationship achieved a particular purpose. They weren't formed out of some utilitarian purpose, rather, as each friendship was cultivated, it ended up meeting some need that you each had.Read Article

Handmade Gifts Come from the Heart

The tradition of giving gifts to friends and loved ones at Christmas is a centuries old tradition. Unfortunately, it’s been targeted by retailers who have sought to benefit materially on the tradition. While buying people gifts from stores (at incredible discounts, no doubt) isn’t a bad thing, you can do better.Read Article

Inside Jokes

We all love to be a part of inside jokes. These jokes come about when we have a shared experience with someone else. The joy of an event lives on when similar circumstances reappear in your life. After all, life is more fun when you’re enjoying it.Read Article

The Richness of Shared Experiences

Shared experiences are a powerful force in our world. There are defining events across regions and nations that give people a bond. For example, most Americans will all remember what it was like during the Arctic Blast of 2014. These types of shared experiences are so important in your married life.Read Article

Couple Friends

The relationship between a husband and wife is both exclusive and complete. By its design, it can meet almost all of the emotional needs of the spouses, but that can be difficult.Read Article

Trust Your Wife

What is the secret to a successful marriage?Read Article